I’ve been hosting parties for as long as I can remember. By 26, I had cooked a full Thanksgiving dinner — not because I loved cooking or was particularly skilled at it, but because I enjoyed setting a beautiful table and curating the guest list. Over the years, I’ve taken mental notes on what makes a gathering successful and what can turn it into a challenge. While stunning decorations add to the ambiance, they aren’t the defining factor. The true essence of a great event lies in consideration, respect and engagement. Whether you’re hosting or attending, here are my top tips for creating or enjoying a memorable soirée.
If You’re Hosting
Attention to Detail: Hit all the senses! In the evening, dim the lights for a cozy ambiance; during the day, let natural light pour in. Set the mood with scented candles and upbeat music. I find the easiest way to make a decor statement is to literally go big with at least one element and stick to a simple color palette.
Gracious Hospitality: Welcome each guest at the door when possible. I love handing them their first drink before directing them to the bar for self-service. Have appetizers ready or serve food promptly. Whether you’re cooking, catering or ordering takeout, don’t get stuck in the kitchen — be present and enjoy your guests.
Introduce and Engage: While it’s always fun to get the old gang together, add a new couple or group of friends to your guest list. Make introductions and bring people together by engaging guests and ensuring everyone feels included. We all have that one friend who brings up the energy in a room — always invite them.
Flexibility and Calmness: I like to think of a swan gliding across the water — graceful and composed on the surface, while working like crazy beneath. The key is to keep the effort hidden and let the grace shine through.
Gratitude and Appreciation: Time is one of life’s greatest gifts and your guests have chosen to spend theirs with you. Let them know how much you appreciate their presence.
If You’re a Guest
Communicate: Always RSVP promptly so the host can plan accordingly. For casual gatherings, it’s fine to ask if you can bring a guest, but for formal events, assume only those named on the invitation are invited.
Arrive and Leave on Time: Punctuality shows respect for the host’s effort. Arriving too early can be just as inconvenient as arriving too late. Likewise, be mindful of when it’s time to leave — overstaying can put extra strain on the host.
Bring a Thoughtful Gift: A small token of appreciation, like a bottle of wine, gourmet treats or funny cocktail napkins, shows gratitude for the invitation.
Engage and Mingle: Be social! Introduce yourself, join conversations and make an effort to connect with other guests. Don’t rely on the host to entertain you the entire time — let them enjoy the gathering too.
Respect the Space and Say Thanks: Follow house rules, whether it’s removing shoes or respecting designated smoking areas. Before leaving, thank the host in person and follow up with a thoughtful note or text the next day to show your appreciation.
